So, we talked about Pink, Black Hat and Sparkles. Fantastic story. Pretty Standard.
I've been hauled up in the woods for a few years now. I like the solitude, it keeps me focused on the most important thing to me. Me.
Thursday, November 27, 2014
Wednesday, November 26, 2014
Pink, Black Hat, and Sparkles.... Yes they're actual fucking people!
So let me begin by saying how nice it is to have toilet paper in the woods. That's really a complete concept in itself, and seeing as we are well on our way to wiping away some shit stains, I feel the need to share with you some fascinating social interactions that I bore witness to recently.
From time to time, I get tired of the quiet, and find myself in a club where the music is loud, and the corner is dark. I enjoy gay bars, because really where else would a bush man in flannel fit in but with a group of women who are dressing the same. Well in this case, I wasn't so lucky as to find my flannel loving sisters, so I stuck out like a bit of a sore thumb. So this bar was one of those "integrated" places where all of the gays are welcome and all of their friends are welcome, so really. It was a bar... because all bars should be like that. Well, except the saloons that you see in the old west that aren't like that. (and by old west, I mean hick towns.)
So, back to the bar... When I am out in public I enjoy an activity that I refer to as "Perching." Perching involves getting yourself elevated above others on a step, or in a mezzanine or somewhere that you can "perch" and monitor the goings on of the evening. I perch at every opportunity I get, in shopping malls, restaurants, and most frequently in clubs. It's usually very difficult to get into VIP sections which overlook the crowd, but nothing a quick gummer or some chloroform can't fix. (Yes, I've been arrested once or twice...)
So, I find the perfect spot at this club I was visiting, I have a view of an entire dance floor, and the socializing occurs directly below me one floor down. This is perfect, I don't want to hear the conversations, I want to make them up as I think they are happening in my head based on what is happening in front of me. Much more entertaining that way.
Now, if you haven't been to many gay clubs, you will realize that no one worth knowing is ever found in one before 12am. It's like you can't be there before midnight (unless its New Years) I think this is because by midnight all the responsible boring people who work, or would rather sleep than watch irresponsible chemically charged homosexuals flutter around have left and are safe in their beds. Which means the real party can start now that nan' and pap's are gone.
So, obviously it's about 10:30pm and I'm perched, overlooking a virtually empty dance floor save the 3 people dancing it up like no one was watching. I enjoy their spirit and courage, and realized that I too have that same level of courage when my blood alcohol content is at parity with theirs, so no harm no foul. They want to maximize the fun, who can blame them. I wish more people would go out this early, so I don't have to line up after last call at a pizza, chicken, or waffle house with all the rest of the folks. Really, its a matter of efficiency for me.
I'm spying these three dancers, one of them I call "Pink" as a result of the colour of his shirt. He was what I would refer to as someone who may not fully understand fashion on account of the hiking shoes he was wearing and plodding around the dance floor with. (Then I remembered, I was wearing flannel and a pair of hiking boots, I really do need to stop raising the bar on everyone.) Pink was dancing, there was a female with him, she shall be the "Pink Hag" they were having fun, through their eyes I am sure they felt that they were the only people in the room, and they were living it up. We all need to learn how to do that without inhibition. (I'm sure all the people in this story are fantastic people, as all are, so, keep in mind, the fact that these people were drunk, dancing, or dressed poorly is not the story, I'm just painting a picture for you.) So, my eyes leave Pink and Hag for a few seconds and I scan the room.
Black Hat was a fairly attractive fella that I spied on my way up to the perching area. He made very nervous and brief eye contact with me as he leaned against the wall in a suave manner. I walked by, found my perch, and on scanning the room caught up to him leaning against the opposing wall where he had a better 180. I appreciated that he had a fine tuned understanding of the concept of "Location, Location, Location!" when it came to self marketing in a gay club. His game wasn't new. I could nearly hear him screaming "NOTICE ME!" in his subconscious as he stood there waiting for someone to approach and have a conversation with him. Again, kudos for his ability to get out there on his own and work at meeting folks. That's something that takes a lot of courage and confidence so we should appreciate that for just a moment. It wasn't long before Black Hat swept the room with his eyes and caught a glimpse of Pink and Hag out on the floor moving it up. He watched briefly and then I saw him start to make a move in the general area. This was when I realized that my earlier instinct to keep walking was sound, he was tanked and the struggle was real to get coordinated. He moved across the dance floor and like a baby fawn found his footing and became more sure of himself. He walked right up to Pink and they began to dance. It was sweet, balzy and I was jealous. I wanted that courage. Pink and Black and Hag danced around and slowly the evening moved along. With every change in music they got tighter and tighter. I noticed a direct correlation between their invasion of personal space and the ousting of Hag from the trio. Fairly standard. It wasn't much longer before they were inspecting each other to confirm or disappoint their suspicions and hopes. Hag left the scene and returned a bit later. They continued to partially include her, but for the most part they were working on some other plans. I decided that they should get more acquainted in privacy on the dance floor and scanned the floor for other noteworthy observations.
Low and behold, Sparkles and the Sparkles Hag were out dancing by this point. I didn't take much note of Sparkles (named because of his Shirt) initially, and his Hag had the matching pants. It was almost as though they changed shirts in the washroom to see if anyone noticed. I sure did! Sparkles and Sparkles Hag were out dancing minding their own business. It seemed pretty standard, then almost like a venus fly trap. I looked away for a second and glanced back and Sparkles had some passerby lip locked. Where the fuck did he come from? I glanced away and back, and it was done. Where the fuck did he go? I don't think I could have picked him out of the crowd if my life depended on it. So, I will admit, I judged. Sparkles is a tart! So Sparkle Tart as I will call him now, must have caught a glimpse of Pink's bright shirt. It seemed as though the sights were narrowed in on him and that something was about to go down. Sparkle Tart and Hag were moving around the floor and dancing in close proximity of Pink and Black Hat who were still dancing together. Sparkles wanted someone to notice him, that part was clear. It wasn't long before Sparkles Hag was pushed out and a new trio was formed with Sparkles, Pink, and Black Hat. Seemed like this may have been more that what Black Hat had bargained for, but he didn't seem to be too concerned. It wasn't long before Sparkles had full control of the situation like a pro. Having already lip locked an innocent passerby it wasn't long before I glanced away and back to see Pink and Hag were gone from the scene, Sparkles had a tongue in his throat, and Black hat had ahold of Sparkles by the hair in a sorta passionate way. (Gasp!!! You don't touch a twinks hair!)
I didn't pay too close of attention to anything further, until Pink returned to the scene with Hag. From the looks of things they had formulated a interception plan. Black Hat was clearly torn. On one hand he had a pretty sure thing, on the other, he had another pretty sure thing. I can only imagine how the planning by Pink and Hag went, that would have been a conversation I would have loved to have been in on. I wasn't so I'll make it up.
Pink: Did you see that?
Hag: Yeah! You had him first and he just moved it, what a slut!
Pink: I know, what do I do?
Hag: Let's go dance again, you're way hotter than him, he will see that.
Pink: Can you just spill your drink on him so he has to leave?
Hag: Maybe.
Hag and Pink are back on the floor, Pink moves in closer to Black Hat, and they dance a bit. It was cute to watch the two fight over a complete stranger. As soon as Pink got too close, Sparkles physically pushed him away and that was that. It was like you saw the energy drain from Pink and he lost a bit of his will to dance. He wasn't as in to it anymore, and he felt hurt that Black Hat was interested in him first, and Sparkles came along and stole him.
By this point, I had decided that I too would go dance it up, I hit the floor, making sure I kept my distance from the three of them. I wasn't interested in being collateral damage or validation from someone in their moment of rejection. After about half an hour of dancing I was soaked from sweat, and needed to cool down. I went out doors, it was nearly 2 am by this point. While out doors, I saw the conclusion to the evenings events unfold. Black Hat and Sparkles leaving the club and heading off into the evening. I was somewhat sad. Sparkles had become the antagonist in this story and I wanted the good guy to win this one. I wanted Pink to be the one he chose. No such luck. I decided that my mood was bummed from this reminder that the world ins't fair and that the nice guy sometimes has to finish last. I went back in to collect some things, and say a few farewells. On the way out the door, I saw a sad and sullen Pink leaning against the wall waiting for what I can only imagine is Hag to be ready to go home. His will had been broken and the night was a disappointment. I sympathized with him, as I too know what that kind of rejection feels like, It wasn't a strong enough feeling for me to talk to him. I knew better. Sometimes, you have to let the low hanging fruit touch the ground, it's not always good for eating. As I left, and spoke to my driver about the evening, I confessed that Pink would have been a very easy catch. Fish in a barrel so to speak. The affirmed that had I done such a thing, they would have put me in a barrel and let me go over the falls. I guess it's good to have friends?
From time to time, I get tired of the quiet, and find myself in a club where the music is loud, and the corner is dark. I enjoy gay bars, because really where else would a bush man in flannel fit in but with a group of women who are dressing the same. Well in this case, I wasn't so lucky as to find my flannel loving sisters, so I stuck out like a bit of a sore thumb. So this bar was one of those "integrated" places where all of the gays are welcome and all of their friends are welcome, so really. It was a bar... because all bars should be like that. Well, except the saloons that you see in the old west that aren't like that. (and by old west, I mean hick towns.)
So, back to the bar... When I am out in public I enjoy an activity that I refer to as "Perching." Perching involves getting yourself elevated above others on a step, or in a mezzanine or somewhere that you can "perch" and monitor the goings on of the evening. I perch at every opportunity I get, in shopping malls, restaurants, and most frequently in clubs. It's usually very difficult to get into VIP sections which overlook the crowd, but nothing a quick gummer or some chloroform can't fix. (Yes, I've been arrested once or twice...)
So, I find the perfect spot at this club I was visiting, I have a view of an entire dance floor, and the socializing occurs directly below me one floor down. This is perfect, I don't want to hear the conversations, I want to make them up as I think they are happening in my head based on what is happening in front of me. Much more entertaining that way.
Now, if you haven't been to many gay clubs, you will realize that no one worth knowing is ever found in one before 12am. It's like you can't be there before midnight (unless its New Years) I think this is because by midnight all the responsible boring people who work, or would rather sleep than watch irresponsible chemically charged homosexuals flutter around have left and are safe in their beds. Which means the real party can start now that nan' and pap's are gone.
So, obviously it's about 10:30pm and I'm perched, overlooking a virtually empty dance floor save the 3 people dancing it up like no one was watching. I enjoy their spirit and courage, and realized that I too have that same level of courage when my blood alcohol content is at parity with theirs, so no harm no foul. They want to maximize the fun, who can blame them. I wish more people would go out this early, so I don't have to line up after last call at a pizza, chicken, or waffle house with all the rest of the folks. Really, its a matter of efficiency for me.
I'm spying these three dancers, one of them I call "Pink" as a result of the colour of his shirt. He was what I would refer to as someone who may not fully understand fashion on account of the hiking shoes he was wearing and plodding around the dance floor with. (Then I remembered, I was wearing flannel and a pair of hiking boots, I really do need to stop raising the bar on everyone.) Pink was dancing, there was a female with him, she shall be the "Pink Hag" they were having fun, through their eyes I am sure they felt that they were the only people in the room, and they were living it up. We all need to learn how to do that without inhibition. (I'm sure all the people in this story are fantastic people, as all are, so, keep in mind, the fact that these people were drunk, dancing, or dressed poorly is not the story, I'm just painting a picture for you.) So, my eyes leave Pink and Hag for a few seconds and I scan the room.
Black Hat was a fairly attractive fella that I spied on my way up to the perching area. He made very nervous and brief eye contact with me as he leaned against the wall in a suave manner. I walked by, found my perch, and on scanning the room caught up to him leaning against the opposing wall where he had a better 180. I appreciated that he had a fine tuned understanding of the concept of "Location, Location, Location!" when it came to self marketing in a gay club. His game wasn't new. I could nearly hear him screaming "NOTICE ME!" in his subconscious as he stood there waiting for someone to approach and have a conversation with him. Again, kudos for his ability to get out there on his own and work at meeting folks. That's something that takes a lot of courage and confidence so we should appreciate that for just a moment. It wasn't long before Black Hat swept the room with his eyes and caught a glimpse of Pink and Hag out on the floor moving it up. He watched briefly and then I saw him start to make a move in the general area. This was when I realized that my earlier instinct to keep walking was sound, he was tanked and the struggle was real to get coordinated. He moved across the dance floor and like a baby fawn found his footing and became more sure of himself. He walked right up to Pink and they began to dance. It was sweet, balzy and I was jealous. I wanted that courage. Pink and Black and Hag danced around and slowly the evening moved along. With every change in music they got tighter and tighter. I noticed a direct correlation between their invasion of personal space and the ousting of Hag from the trio. Fairly standard. It wasn't much longer before they were inspecting each other to confirm or disappoint their suspicions and hopes. Hag left the scene and returned a bit later. They continued to partially include her, but for the most part they were working on some other plans. I decided that they should get more acquainted in privacy on the dance floor and scanned the floor for other noteworthy observations.
Low and behold, Sparkles and the Sparkles Hag were out dancing by this point. I didn't take much note of Sparkles (named because of his Shirt) initially, and his Hag had the matching pants. It was almost as though they changed shirts in the washroom to see if anyone noticed. I sure did! Sparkles and Sparkles Hag were out dancing minding their own business. It seemed pretty standard, then almost like a venus fly trap. I looked away for a second and glanced back and Sparkles had some passerby lip locked. Where the fuck did he come from? I glanced away and back, and it was done. Where the fuck did he go? I don't think I could have picked him out of the crowd if my life depended on it. So, I will admit, I judged. Sparkles is a tart! So Sparkle Tart as I will call him now, must have caught a glimpse of Pink's bright shirt. It seemed as though the sights were narrowed in on him and that something was about to go down. Sparkle Tart and Hag were moving around the floor and dancing in close proximity of Pink and Black Hat who were still dancing together. Sparkles wanted someone to notice him, that part was clear. It wasn't long before Sparkles Hag was pushed out and a new trio was formed with Sparkles, Pink, and Black Hat. Seemed like this may have been more that what Black Hat had bargained for, but he didn't seem to be too concerned. It wasn't long before Sparkles had full control of the situation like a pro. Having already lip locked an innocent passerby it wasn't long before I glanced away and back to see Pink and Hag were gone from the scene, Sparkles had a tongue in his throat, and Black hat had ahold of Sparkles by the hair in a sorta passionate way. (Gasp!!! You don't touch a twinks hair!)
I didn't pay too close of attention to anything further, until Pink returned to the scene with Hag. From the looks of things they had formulated a interception plan. Black Hat was clearly torn. On one hand he had a pretty sure thing, on the other, he had another pretty sure thing. I can only imagine how the planning by Pink and Hag went, that would have been a conversation I would have loved to have been in on. I wasn't so I'll make it up.
Pink: Did you see that?
Hag: Yeah! You had him first and he just moved it, what a slut!
Pink: I know, what do I do?
Hag: Let's go dance again, you're way hotter than him, he will see that.
Pink: Can you just spill your drink on him so he has to leave?
Hag: Maybe.
Hag and Pink are back on the floor, Pink moves in closer to Black Hat, and they dance a bit. It was cute to watch the two fight over a complete stranger. As soon as Pink got too close, Sparkles physically pushed him away and that was that. It was like you saw the energy drain from Pink and he lost a bit of his will to dance. He wasn't as in to it anymore, and he felt hurt that Black Hat was interested in him first, and Sparkles came along and stole him.
By this point, I had decided that I too would go dance it up, I hit the floor, making sure I kept my distance from the three of them. I wasn't interested in being collateral damage or validation from someone in their moment of rejection. After about half an hour of dancing I was soaked from sweat, and needed to cool down. I went out doors, it was nearly 2 am by this point. While out doors, I saw the conclusion to the evenings events unfold. Black Hat and Sparkles leaving the club and heading off into the evening. I was somewhat sad. Sparkles had become the antagonist in this story and I wanted the good guy to win this one. I wanted Pink to be the one he chose. No such luck. I decided that my mood was bummed from this reminder that the world ins't fair and that the nice guy sometimes has to finish last. I went back in to collect some things, and say a few farewells. On the way out the door, I saw a sad and sullen Pink leaning against the wall waiting for what I can only imagine is Hag to be ready to go home. His will had been broken and the night was a disappointment. I sympathized with him, as I too know what that kind of rejection feels like, It wasn't a strong enough feeling for me to talk to him. I knew better. Sometimes, you have to let the low hanging fruit touch the ground, it's not always good for eating. As I left, and spoke to my driver about the evening, I confessed that Pink would have been a very easy catch. Fish in a barrel so to speak. The affirmed that had I done such a thing, they would have put me in a barrel and let me go over the falls. I guess it's good to have friends?
Monday, November 24, 2014
Where it all Began...... This is the new Beginning
So, here I am. Connecting from my Solar Powered MacBook in the middle of a bush, to bring you live action blogging and seeing what type of nonesense society is trending today.....
For a back story, check out my guest blog spot on Andrea's Blog
See you soon, and follow me for the authority on yuppies, hipsters, and the idiotic cliches of life combined with the cliche miracles by god.
For a back story, check out my guest blog spot on Andrea's Blog
See you soon, and follow me for the authority on yuppies, hipsters, and the idiotic cliches of life combined with the cliche miracles by god.
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