Requiem......

Why are you so hard to get over. You were just a person that was a part of my life for a brief moment. My heart latched on to you to fill a void and now it feels like forever I'll have this agony when I see you. 

I look at you and see you for what you are, a poser a person that needs validation. I'm judging you to justify my hurt. 

You told me all the things I needed to hear, a game of yours perhaps?  I don't know. 

I look at you now so many months later and I still feel the care and love you showed me. I was a broken mess then and that scared you away.  I am a broken mess now because you are a constant reminder to me of how flawed and broken I was then. You make me insecure and feel weak.  I tied too much emotion into that. I don't know how to let it go and not feel anxious when I see you. I care about you deeply and I've been an asshole to you many times. You will never believe me when I tell you I'm sorry so I am just going to torment myself with this for all time to maintain my pride because I have no way of ever explaining to you why I did what I did. I just wish you could forgive me. I just wish I could move on.