Tuesday, January 26, 2016

I’ll always love you, care about you…. for the next 2 seconds then i’ll be completey self involved again.

Recently, I found myself injured and was unable to actually communicate with the outside world.  One of my “handlers” took it upon themselves to contact loved ones on my behalf in concern for my safety.

I wasn’t aware any of this was going on, I was in a coma, so really it didn’t matter.

During the frantic attempts at contacting people, somehow, in the infinite wisdom, the handler felt it would be appropriate for someone out of my past, a lover, to be contacted about my well being.  Really?  this is the same person that I can credit with my current obsession of being in basecamps and the constant movement in my life. Yes, I have an idea, lets call them.

I am somewhat shocked about the way this all went down.  This individual, the former lover, in our last conversation professed that they will always care, and have a love for me.  However, upon receipt of the news that there was concern about my well being, they consciously made it fairly clear, confirming my suspicions really, that their words mean shit. I don’t mean the kind of shit that one finds on Andreas roof deck, I mean proper shit.

Maybe I just need to stop expecting people who were never honest to begin with to be honest at the end, much less to follow through with actions that match their words.

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