Bitterly running through the bush

So after my Dotty and toto bullshit, I found myself perplexed with the typical questions one is faced with when they try to comprehend rejection that is intensified by loneliness. Yes I'm lonely, but not lonely enough to settle for the first mediocre offer that comes my way.

I have things in my life generally in order. I'm self sufficient, and I find myself interesting. Yet at the same time as you navigate rejection it's easy to turn that process into a pity party. Which is what happened today. Now that I'm aware of it I don't feel quite as terrible about it. However, some productive things have come out of the day. 

I've evaluated (maybe a bit more harshly than normal) the friends I have and the friends I think I have. Obviously everyone is busy and has their own life going on. So, it's not exactly the easiest thing to do to drop everything and take note of what's happening around you and that maybe some people have fallen off the radar.  The easiest way to realize who may need you to say hey is to scroll to the very bottom of your messages and find the person that's at the bottom of the list. If you're like me and you keep all your messages then you will see who has gone the longest without you interacting with them. 

It also works in other ways. If someone messages you asking for something and the last time you talked to them was over a month ago,  good chance they're only thinking of you because they need you for something. This doesn't align with my friend code and therefore these requests go unanswered. Not answering someone is painful for me. I feel it's a courtesy to be frank and reply to people but at the same time, it's also a courtesy to feel somewhat included in the lives of the people who claim to be your friend.

I'm not sure what I'm trying to get at here. Mostly, I'm reinforcing something I've believed for a long time, when you're out of sight, you're out of mind.